Eight best things on the internet this week

You’d probably expect a list of the best things to happen to the internet this week to involve Google launching its Accelerated Mobile Pages, or Google closing its comparison site, or Facebook adding to its range of Like buttons… right?

Don’t be ridiculous.

The best things to happen to the internet this week involve rap music, a terrible computer game, Wes Anderson dioramas and deeply patronising throw pillows.

GET OUT OF THE PIT ET!!!

The man who made the so-called “worst video game of all time” (so-called because… well… it is) Howard Scott Warshaw has been interviewed by the BBC this week.

Although it wasn’t strictly the sole reason for Atari’s collapse in 1983, the game was so unsuccessful that almost all of the 2.5 million unsold copies were buried in the New Mexico desert (along with many other titles) and within the year Atari would be no more.

Warshaw couldn’t help the fact that so much was riding on the game (Atari paid $21 million for the rights to ET) or that he was only given five weeks to complete the entire project or that Steven Spielberg insisted it be a cheap knock-off of Pac Man.

But he could have perhaps made a game that wasn’t quite so horrendously frustrating to play. As one 10-year-old told The New York Times: “It wasn’t fun.”

Screw it, I’m playing Missile Command. Stupid alien. He can stay in the pit forever.

And technically he did for around 30 years…

The Rap Board

Here’s a brilliantly designed rap soundboard where you can spend the whole day triggering phrases from your favourite rappers, before Kanye drags the whole thing down with a rambling 10-minute long monologue about trainers.

Warning: contains swearing, obvs.

Is there anything more twee than a Wes Anderson movie? Why yes.

Mar Cerdà is an illustrator from Barcelona who has recently been painstakingly recreating scenes from various Wes Anderson movies in tiny paper diorama form.

They’re pretty stunning and I imagine Anderson himself is devising ways of finally replacing Bill Murray with a little cut-out figure he can manipulate himself and not have to pay him or feed him.

World War Minefield

Remember Minesweeper? It was a game that used to come installed on all PCs that, pre-internet, was one of only a handful of ways you could waste time on a computer. (The others were accountancy and writing erotic thrillers.)

Now you can play Minesweeper on a global scale, online, with complete strangers. Welcome to MMO Minefield. (That’s massively multiplayer online game to you and I). Imagine World of Warcraft but in 2D and almost everywhere you tread you’ll probably get blown up.

Yeah good luck.

Don’t dream your life, live your dreams

Buzzfeed has compiled a collection of 22 awful home decor pieces that will make you projectile vomit in horror, hopefully over your neighbour’s inspirational triptych.

Quoted from the author: “I would like the inspirational decor industry to explain to me how there are moments of my day that I’m NOT living.”

Prepare to learn a few new adjectives

The first five seasons worth of scripts for South Park are now available online.

I would recreate some of my favourite moments here, but, well… you know.

In the meantime here’s Cartman dressed as a tooth fairy.

Winter is Trumping

Game of Thrones returns in April, but you may as well get used to influx of GoT related memes, parody videos and mash-ups now. Getting in especially early is this very well-made video placing Donald Trump within the heart of the action.

As you can imagine there’s a lot of talk about border control, but little of Tyrion slapping him repeatedly in the face as you may have expected.

Pretend you’re Killer Mike, at last!

There’s an entire hour-long Run the Jewels gig uploaded to YouTube on the Boiler Room channel. It’s presented in 360 degrees and it’s flipping awesome. Now you can finally view a gig entirely from the stage, looking at the audience and rapping at them. It’s a dream come true.

Contains swearing, obvs.

Incidentally Run the Jewels are Search Engine Watch’s unofficial favourite rap band. I wonder if Search Engine Land and Search Engine Journal have a favourite rap band? I’ll ask them.

God I hope one of them says Search Mix-A-Lot. I’ll report back next week.