If AOL Is Ford, What’s Facebook?

microsoft-97fordtaurus

When AOL CEO Tim Armstrong likened AOL to iconic auto brand Ford during a recent UBS media conference, perhaps he should have been more specific. It’s a 1997 Ford Taurus.

“I think from the standpoint of, we’re in the middle of the industrial revolution for information, and we happen to be the Ford brand,” said Armstrong according to a Monday New York Times report.

Ok Mr. Armstrong, we’ll play along. But let’s take your analogy a step farther. If the AOL brand is Ford – or by our tongue-in-cheek analysis, a ’97 Taurus – what does that make other big digital media brands like Yahoo, Facebook, and Twitter?

Here’s our quick list:

Microsoft: 1999 Buick Century
It’s what your parents drive.

Google: 2008 Toyota Land Cruiser SUV
All-terrain and a bit of a road hog.

Yahoo: 2002 Dodge Caravan
Stodgy and a mess in the backseat.

Facebook: 2009 Mazda Miata
You love showing it off to friends, but it’s not exactly safe.

Apple: 2010 Volkswagen Beetle
Sleek design, appealing to obsessives yet suitable for the masses.

groupon-dodgechallenger

Groupon: 2011 Dodge Challenger
All the rage, but there are so many of them on the road.

Twitter: 2010 MINI Cooper Hardtop
Stylish yet utilitarian. And it’s small – get it?

twitter-minicooper

Foursquare: 2011 Nissan Cube
Young, built for the city and, well, it’s square.

YouTube: 2010 Porsche Boxster
Eye candy, but so many spoilers.

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