Our Paper of Record, Brought to You by Shingles and Blistering Rashes

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Just when you thought the hideous wave of body shot advertising had reached its gruesome apex, along comes something even worse. On behalf of New York Times lovers everywhere, I say this to the Grey Lady’s digital sales execs: Please, please draw a line in the sand now, before it’s too late. Because we both know you’ve already fielded calls from the makers of miracle herpes salves, and the mere thought of how THOSE close-up photos will look plastered into leaderboard ads on your homepage is enough to threaten the very fabric of our democracy.

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