'Twas the Night Before Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
A media planner was stirring with the click of his mouse.
“What site should I buy for the next campaign?
“Networks, or Portals? Hell, maybe FunBrain?!”

The reps were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of RFPs danced in their heads;
“I wonder what placements they will have to sell?
My rep’s on vacation? Gee, isn’t that swell?”

When out from my desktop there arose such a clatter,
I sprang to the desk to see what was the matter.
Away to the keyboard I flew like a flash,
“Damn, that rich media’s making my browsers all crash!”

The flash-file animation shone like new-fallen snow,
Giving the luster of midday to my cup of Joe,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,

On a T-One line, the pages download so quick!
I saw in a moment it was a site for St. Nick.
More rapid than Quake players his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

“Now, DASHER! Now, DANCER! Now, PRANCER and VIXEN!
On, COMET! On, CUPID! On, DONDER and BLITZEN!
To the top of the screen! Over the firewall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
Sometimes these Christmas sites just make me cry,
And to think my e-commerce clients wanted buttons,
On a Christmas site endorsed by actor Timothy Hutton!

In the New Year, what kind of buy can I put together?
That can perform well in all kinds of weather?
CPM, CPC, and maybe revenue share?
Or a cost-per-transaction buy, would the site dare?

Dot-coms will come and dot-coms will go,
Some will shine bright; some will be buried in snow.
But maybe one day they will learn rules of engagement;
Things like the processes of marketing, offline upfront payment.

I might buy a scooter for the kids while online, Hoping that eToys will ship it on time. As for myself, PlayStation 2 would be nice, If Amazon delivers on snow or on ice.

Now it’s all quiet, the Christmas tree’s lost its smell,
No reps calling, no bosses, any clients that yell.
And so I must go now and turn out the lights.
“HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.”